


What I shouldn't Want

by VarjoRuusu



Category: Final Fantasy XII
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mentions of mild sex abuse, Mentions of questionable pasts, PWP, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Sickly sweet fluff actually, The mentions are brief, Vaan hasn't had a great couple of years ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 11:59:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11943720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VarjoRuusu/pseuds/VarjoRuusu
Summary: Basch has known attraction but this, this he shouldn't want. Vaan is so young compared to him, but this world they live in forces everyone to grow up before their time. When Vaan approaches him at last, after months of circling each other with a look here, or eyes quickly darting away there, Basch is too tired to fight his feelings any longer.-This work contains explicit sexual content that includes a fictional 17 year old, which is only a legality issue in some places, and since it's a work of fiction, set in a fictional world, if anyone wants to complain at me, I suggest you don't bother. Thank you.





	What I shouldn't Want

**Author's Note:**

> I recently replayed the game and I don't even know where this came from. This is complete and utter porn and it kinda surprised me. I never shipped this ship before, I never even thought about this ship before, but I really like it. It's busted in all my favorite ways.

Basch is no stranger to attraction, though he is something of a stranger to affection. He's felt attraction many times over the years, he's acted on more than his fair share as well, but never has he been attracted to something, someone, like this. Never to someone so different. Someone so young. 

Because Vaan is young. Incredibly so. Basch is well into his third decade and Vaan hasn't even began his second. He'd even younger than the princess, younger than the young girl who travels with him, by a few weeks. He's the youngest of their motley party, a mere child. 

He's caught the way Vaan watches him. First with anger and distrust, unwilling to believe it was his twin, and not him, who killed Vaan's brother two years before. Eventually, as Basch proves himself and they encounter his twin's work spread across Ivalice, the anger fades, replaced by curiosity. He can tell Vaan still doesn't trust him, and he doesn't blame the boy. He's not sure he would trust him, were he in any of their positions, especially Vaan , or Ashe. Too much hurt lies in both their pasts for that.

In the end, it only comes as half a shock when Vaan approaches him one evening, his face quiet and pensive as he joins Basch at a railing overlooking the great City of Bujerba. They had returned briefly for Balthier to pick up something (probably illegal) from a friend of his (probably another pirate) and are spending the night in a rented (probably with stolen money) villa high in the city towers. Vaan is quiet for a long time, staring out at the city, before he turns to stare at Basch.

Basch lets him look for a long time, then he turns and crosses his arms, raising an eyebrow at the young man, waiting expectantly. Vaan blinks, as if he had expected something, anything else. Words at the very least, a 'what are you doing out here', or 'what do you want'. It's clear he hadn't thought to be greeted by silence. Their eyes meet in the near darkness, watching. Waiting.

Finally Vaan huffs, stepping forward and rolling up on his toes, one hand reaching behind Basch's neck, pulling him forward just enough to kiss him. 

It's not as harsh or as desperate as Basch expected. It's almost soft, a different kind of desperation, one that speaks of a faultline so deep it may never be mended. He thinks he know's why Vaan is doing this, perhaps because Basch was the last one to see Rekks alive two years before, perhaps it's the curiosity of youth. Perhaps he's just lonely, though if that were the case, why choose Basch? Either way, Basch allows it for a moment, before settling his hands on Vaan's waist and pushing him back gently. 

“You don't want this,” he says quietly, whispers it in the dark. He hasn't closed his eyes and Vaan's blink open, having drifted shut at some point. “You don't want me,” he clarifies. Vaan's face hardens, then softens.

“Let me be the judge of what I want,” he says. “I'm not as young as I seem, Basch, I grew up a long time ago. What about you? What do you want?” he whispers, leaning close enough so Basch can feel his breath ghosting against his mouth. 

If there was ever a time to evade, Basch thought, it was now. Evade, push away, run the other direction. He opens his mouth to let the lie come out, the lie that always came so easily, the lie that could push anyone away. He has lies both to reel in lovers and scare them all the way to the Yensa. Instead what pours out is the rough an honest truth.

“Peace,” he says quietly. “Escape. Forgiveness.” He sounds broken even to himself.

“Come with me,” Vaan says softly, pressing a fleeting kiss against his lips and backing up, catching his hand and leading him inside, towards the bedroom Vaan has claimed for himself. When the door closes behind them Basch leans against it and tugs his hand away.

“You know this will be a mistake,” he says quietly as Vaan crosses the room and shuts the curtains, before turning and tugging at his armoured vest, loosening the buckles and letting the whole thing drop to the carpet, baring his chest.

“Or it can be an escape,” Vaan says softly. 

Basch crosses the room in five great strides and hauls Vaan against him, kissing him deeply as one hand tangles his hair, the other arm wrapping around his waist and pulling their bodies together. Vaan moans against him, arms wrapping tightly around him and hands clutching at the back of Basch's shirt. Basch tilts his head and licks at those sweet red lips, slipping his tongue inside when Vaan's mouth opens willingly, the taste of the younger man bursting across his tongue and lighting a fire in his stomach, a fire that hadn't been kindled in a long time. After a moment he pulls back, opening his eyes to stare at Vaan, eyes closed, breath heavy, lips red and wet and swollen. 

“Have you ever?” he asks gruffly and Vaan blinks his eyes open before he nods, a dark cloud swirling there. 

“I was a street orphan for two years,” is all he says, quietly. “I did what I had to do to survive, and to keep Penelo safe. I never let her do the things I had to.” His voice is strong, free of shame, and Basch nods.

“Are you sure you want this? With me?” he says quietly, his fingers tracing patterns across Vaan's lower back, the hand in his hair readjusting to hold a little tighter.

“You'll be the first I actually do want,” Vaan admits softly. “The first I can...trust not to hurt me.”

“I won't hurt you,” Basch says quietly, drawing him in and kissing him softly. Vaan doesn't trust him with his life, but he trusts him with this, with his body. Trusts him not to beat him. Somehow it's far more important. 

Vaan is no blushing virgin, but his whole body is wound tight and his eyes are wary as Basch begins to touch him gently, trying to coax a surrender out of him, trying to urge him to let go. He won't do this if Vaan doesn't enjoy it, he's not that far gone into the pit of hopeless despair that he'll just take something like this.

Vaan sighs quietly as Basch turns them, walking him back toward the bed and pressing him down lightly so he's sprawled out on his back, his chest broad and moving with each harsh breath, just begging to have Basch's mouth on it. He starts slowly, at Vaan's shoulder, leaving a trail of kisses across the skin, then comes back with his tongue, the with his teeth, gently. Vaan shudders under him, one hand raising to tangle in Basch's slightly too long hair, like an anchor. He returns to Vaan's mouth often, splitting his attention between his chest and his lips, committing the taste of both to memory. It's likely they won't get another chance at this and now that Basch has admitted to wanting, he's not going to go about it halfway. He wants everything.

Vaan gasps when Basch closes his mouth around one nipple, licking lightly and teasing with his teeth, sucking it to a hard peak before doing the same to the other. Both hands are dug in his hair now and after a few more moments, Basch sits back. Vaan makes a beautiful picture, laid out half naked and flushed all the way to the waistband of his breeches, his breath heavy and his eyes lidded, his pupils blown wide as he bites his lip. Basch can't help but smile. He reaches out and brushes a thumb along Vaan's abused bottom lip and Vaan's hands reach for the buckles of his shirt. 

Basch had taken off his armour, his boots, and his gloves earlier, but the fiddly shirt remains and Vaan curses at it as he tugs the buckles, smiling when he gets it free and pushes it off Basch's shoulders, sitting up to slide it down his arms. He looks up at Basch, now several inches lower where he sits on the bed as Basch towers over him, his knees on either side of Vaan's hips. He smiles and places a kiss in the middle of Basch's chest. 

“I can't stop looking at you,” Vaan admits softly and Basch chuckles. 

“You aren't as subtle as you might think,” he teases, moving around Vaan to lie on his back, tugging the younger man over him to straddle his hips. 

“I honestly wasn't even trying to be subtle,” Vaan says softly, brushing a kiss to Basch's neck. It's Basch's turn to tangle his fingers in Vaan's hair as Vaan's mouth explores him. They're both hard, they have been for a while, but it's ignored for now in favour of quiet exploration. 

“No?” Basch breaths as Vaan's nails skim along his chest, scratching lightly. Vaan shakes his head. 

“I wanted you to see me,” he says softly. 

“I saw you,” Basch smiles, drawing Vaan closer and kissing him deeply. He shouldn't be doing this, Vaan is just a boy, but in today's world, children grow up too fast and boys become men far before their time. Basch did, and it was almost two decades ago. He understands why Vaan wants this, that he's lonely, lost. Basch feels the same and he's aware of himself enough to admit he's thought about this, more than a few times, as they've traveled across Ivalice together. He imagines Vaan has too.

Basch's hands drift down to cup Vaan's backside, drawing him closer as Vaan's own hands drop to tug at the fastening's of Basch's breeches before he scoots away. Vaan tugs his breechs down, sliding them off his legs after pausing to pull off his boots and Basch tucks an arm behind his head, watching Vaan look at him. He isn't ashamed of his body, he's earned his scars, each and every one. He watches with interest as Vaan slowly crawls back up his body, pausing and pressing a kiss against his hip bone, eyes on his hard cock, gaze curious. Vaan licks his lips, hesitates.

“You don't have to do that,” Basch says softly.

“I want to,” Vaan says quietly. “I promise, I want to. If I didn't, I wouldn't. I think you know me well enough by now to know that's the truth.”

Basch watches him for a moment then nods. Vaan smiles and drops his head easily, his warm mouth engulfing the hard lines of Basch's cock and sucking, pulling him in and in and in until Basch's eyes are rolling back in his head and he can feel the tip of his cock pressing against the back of Vaan's throat as he swallows, humming around him. It's so good, better than anything Basch has felt in years. He doesn't normally allow this level of intimacy and vulnerability with his lovers. It's too dangerous to not be the one in control of the situation. But for Vaan, he finds he's all too happy to surrender this to him. In no time at all, it seems, he's ready to explode and he tugs on Vaan's hair gently, pulling that talented mouth off him carefully.

“Not that way,” he says quietly and Vaan nods, understanding his brief words perfectly.

Basch takes a minute to breath before he opens his eyes and what he finds makes his mouth go dry. Vaan is standing now, pushing his breeches off his feet and kicking them away. He straightens up, then crawls onto the bed and over Basch, hovering just out of reach as he leans down enough to catch Basch's lips in a soft kiss. Basch's hands reach for his hips, holding them gently, fingers caressing the soft skin there and he sighs, his eyes drifting shut as Vaan's tongue touches his lightly. 

“Are you sure about this?” Basch whispers against his lips and Vaan nods, shifting his knees and settling in Basch's lap so they're pressed tightly together, their cocks touching, and they both sigh.

“I want to feel you inside me,” Vaan whispers in his ear and Basch knows that if he were younger, if he didn't have as much control as he did, he'd be undone by those words alone.

“You have something? Oil?” Basch asks, running his hands reverently over Vaan's skin. Vaan nods, kissing him quickly before disappearing into the bathing room, unashamed of his nakedness as he crosses the room there and back. He's holding a small bottle now and Basch smirks, pushing himself up and scooting back so he's leaning against the headboard.

“Do you want your own fingers, or mine?” he asks, tugging Vaan back onto the bed and over him, the younger squeaking slightly as Basch settles him back on his lap. 

“You'll be gentle?” Vaan asks quietly and Basch nods, accepting the oil and pouring some onto his hand.

His fingers slide down Vaan's back, slowly, soothingly, teasing along his spine and his tailbone, brushing over his goal lightly but not stopping. He repeats this motion again and again, each time pressing a little harder, enjoying the quiet whimpers Vaan begins to make as he ghosts over his hole again and again. 

“You don't have to be that gentle,” Vaan laughs quietly and Basch grins, sliding his fingers closer and putting pressure with two, pressing down on Vaan's hole but not in. Vaan groans and tilts his hips back, pressing against Basch's fingers and he adjusts his hand, pressing one just at the opening and waiting. Understanding, Vaan shuffles on his knees and moves back slowly, pushing himself onto Basch's finger, moaning when it's seated in him fully. He waits a moment then moves carefully, tilting his hips forward, then back, pulling away before sinking back on Basch's finger, his eyes closed as his hands clutch at Basch's shoulders.

“More,” he whispers and Basch draws out his finger, lining a second one up and returning them to the same position, letting Vaan sink onto them as he shudders, biting his lip. He builds his rhythm slowly, rolling his hips and sliding along Basch's fingers, Basch allowing him to set the pace at his leisure. He shudders, squeezing around Basch's fingers and finally he opens his eyes, the pupils blown wide with desire. Basch understands and begins to move his fingers slowly. Vaan sighs, collapsing against his chest and lets him play with his body, stretching him slowly, throughly, occasionally brushing near the nerves that will send Vaan spiralling on a cloud of pleasure, but not quite touching them yet. 

Finally, when he feels it's enough, Basch pulls his hands away and reaches for the oil. Vaan sits up and tugs it out of his hand with a smirk, pouring some on his own palm and reaching between them to slide it along Basch's cock, holding him tightly as he moves his fingers agonizingly slowly. Basch grunts, his fingers returning to Vaan's hips and Vaan shuffles so that Basch's cock is lined up and he begins to sink down slowly. He lets the head press against him, breathing slowly and letting his body relax, waiting until suddenly the muscles loosen and Basch is sliding into him slowly and easily. Vaan groans as he sinks all the way down in one steady move and it takes every bit of restraint Basch has not to thrust his hips up into the tight velvet heat that's holding him.

“You feel wonderful,” Vaan whispers in his ear and Basch moans, his hips tilting before he can stop them. Vaan gasps, then rotates his hips, copying the motion, drawing another little gasp from his own lips at the movement. 

Basch resettles his grip on Vaan's hips and slowly begins to move, rolling up to press deeper inside with every thrust, just barely brushing the nerves inside Vaan. Vaan is already shuddering in his arms, he can only imagine what it will be like when he shifts, when he's hitting that bundle on purpose. 

Vaan is resting heavily against his chest, arms wrapped tightly around Basch as he shudders with every movement, overwhelmed by the sensations. 

“I never knew it could be this good,” he whispers against Basch's collarbone and Basch smiles.

“I'm not even touching you,” he says quietly, working a hand between them to wrap slowly around Vaan's neglected cock. Vaan whimpers.

“Too much,” he says and Basch takes his hand away, resting them both on Vaan's backside and pulling his cheeks apart, spreading him open and allowing him to push deeper with his slow, tortuous movements. Vaan whines against him, his whole body twitching and Basch shifts his hips, hitting those nerves. He's rewarded when Vaan screams against his shoulder, panting hard.

“I shouldn't want you,” Basch whispers against his neck, hyper aware of every inch where they touch, how Vaan is wrapped around him so completely, their chests pressed together, one arm around Basch's shoulders and the other hand resting over his heart. Their foreheads are pressed together and Vaan's eyes are closed, his mouth open as little moans of pleasure escape him with each movement Basch makes. 

“But you do,” Vaan says, a smile curling around his mouth as he tightens his lower body and begins to meet Basch's movements, raising on his knees just a fraction before pushing back down. Basch groans, the hands on his hips holding tightly, helping guide the slow movements as Vaan rides him. 

“All the gods help me,” Basch mutters, turning his head and catching Vaan's lips with his own, kissing him deeply as he moves them together a little faster, a little harder. Vaan gasps against him, hand sliding from over his heart up into his hair, holding Basch just where he wants as he devours him with kisses, his hips rolling as he all but slams down now, chasing the edge of his release desperately. It's so close he can almost taste it, all thought lost to pure sensation, the feel of Basch's body under him, against him, inside him. It's the most overwhelming thing he's ever felt.

“That's it,” Basch whispers against him, his hands sliding up Vaan's back and wrapping loosely around him. He tilts his hips just slightly as he slams up hard and Vaan screams again, throwing his head back as his whole body jerks. Basch repeats the motion, even harder, and Vaan shudders against him, his muscles squeezing so tight Basch can hardly stand it. His arms are looped around Vaan's back, one high, one low, holding him steady as he slams their bodies together. 

Vaan nearly sobs now with each movement, every nerve raw and the pleasure washing through his body almost too much. He's never felt like this before, he's never felt this good, this lost to feeling. He's shaking, his muscles clenching, his whole body coiled tight as he feels it coming, building low in his stomach faster and faster until he comes apart, screaming Basch's name and jerking hard, every limb shaking as he empties against Basch's stomach, his cock pulsing harder than he can ever remember it doing before. 

Basch groans, tugging Vaan close and slamming into him quickly, chasing his own release, shouting quietly against Vaan's hair as he stills, buried deep, shuddering. He loses time, for a moment, and when he opens his eyes again Vaan is watching him, his own eyes barely slits as he smiled warily. Basch leans forward and kisses him softly, unhurriedly. 

After a few minutes he gently separates their bodies and goes for a cloth to clean them up, before crawling under the sheets, easily folding Vaan in his arms when the younger man crawls on top of him, using his chest as a pillow. Basch sighs, pressing a kiss to Vaan's hair and refuses to think about the consequences they might face if any of the others every found out.

A pounding on the door wakes them the next morning, jerking them from a more restful sleep than either has had in months. The poundings stops quickly, followed by Penelo's cheery voice.

“Vaan, come on, we have to go. We're going to be late and the others can't find Basch. He wasn't in his room this morning when Balthair went to wake him up and they think he's already at the airship.”

“I'm up, I'll be right there!” Vaan calls, laughing quietly. He doesn't move though, instead snuggling against Basch's chest with a deep sigh.

“She knows I'm here, doesn't she?” Basch asks with a yawn.

“She probably grabbed your stuff from your room last night,” Vaan mumbles with a smile. “It's probably already aboard the Strahl. She's a good friend.”

“I don't want to get out of this bed,” Basch says quietly, hooking his fingers under Vaan's chin and tilting it up. “I want to stay here and have you all over again.”

Vaan shivers and smiles, leaning up and kissing Basch deeply. He pulls back with a small smirk.

“Come on old man, lets go save the world,” he grins. Basch swats at him as he scrambles from the bed, unable to help the first genuine smile in five years from crossing his face.


End file.
